Finally

Well, this is pretty long overdue. But honestly I just didn’t feel like writing this when A Levels first ended. Even now, I still don’t really feel like doing it. And although I have decided to write it, I think it’ll be very different from what I had initially intended it to be.

I still remember how during the A Level period I had so many intense feelings  and I jotted them all down, with the intention of fully writing it after A Levels. But once they ended, I just didn’t feel it anymore. I think when you’re very stressed your mind tends to scatter a lot because you just feel so overwhelmed and anything is better than studying. But as time went by, a lot of these feelings disappeared because I was getting more and more relaxed and there was no need for me to think of all these things.

I initially intended to write this really long intense summary of what had happened over the past two years, my feelings throughout this entire period of time, what I’ve learnt and how far I’ve come since the beginning. But to be honest, I don’t think I really need to write that anymore. Not only have I shared a lot of it here already and writing it would simply just be a repetition, but I feel like I have internalised it already. So I think right now I’ll just share where I’ll be going from here.

Now that A’s are over, I really can’t wait for my life to actually begin! From exercising more to doing more photography, traveling all over the place and surrounding myself with my loved ones, I’m just want to dedicated all my time to being happy and figuring out what I want to do with my life.

However, a part of me also finds all this very daunting because I have so much to do and fix. I’ve tried so hard and managed to come this far already, but knowing that such a long way to go before I can actually reach my goal feels so scary. But I think I just have to have faith and keep my head held up high. I have seen so many people turn their lives around and they shall be my inspiration and motivation to do the same. Sometimes I feel like my journey is at a slower pace than others but I have to remember that everyone is different and I’m doing my best already. I will definitely reach a point in my life where I’ll be 100% happy with myself and now it is time to work on getting there.

From here on out, I’ll be taking things one step at a time and just making sure I keep on going and never give up. The world is so expansive and there really are a ton of options I can explore, Regardless of my A Level results next year, even if they’re bad, my life isn’t going to stop here. I definitely don’t want to go back to that dark place and I’ll make sure to get to a place where I’m very happy with everything in my life. I want to look back 5, 10, 20 years from now and say that I’m glad I managed to get where I am today.

You know, despite what a terrible experience everything was, I am also very grateful for it. I’m sure I have said this enough times, but it really has allowed me to learn and grow so much as a person. From here on out, I’m sure things can only go up. So here is to a better life and a hopeful future!

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